So I'm now totally free. Free from homework, tests, angry teachers, and some annoying schoolmates.

It's just that I can't resist myself from anxiety that I haven't got any school that I will attend. 

I mean I have already chosen 3 different senior highs but not really sure if I WILL attend one of those schools.

My first choice is a school where almost everyone knows how good that school is. While the two choices? Well... Not almost all of them knows how good they are.

The problem is that the first choice is a little bit far from my hometown. I surely know that it needs around an hour or so to get into that school from my house, if I go by a car in the morning.

Not including how bad the traffic will be around the school's area. Especially,when schools out at late afternoon (around 4 or 5 pm). So many people are out from work and there's gotta be a major traffic out there.

And so, yeah. This is so confusing.

Along with the fact that I get a... Well, not pretty enough score to get to attend that school, makes me harder to compete with other kids who choose that school as their first choice too.

I don't understand why, but I'm sure that I've done the best for myself by getting that kind of score.

I mean, most of my schoolmates did join some extra classes in some learning centers that helped them to learn harder and harder, and how to solve several kinds of tests from year to year (including the hard one), that also reduced their time to get rest after attending extra classes from school (which all of us have to attend when we're all in 9th grade), and arrived at home so late at around 8 pm (some even arrived at 9, according to their statuses on Twitter and Facebook).

And I didn't even join any learning courses out from school. 

Didn't mean to brag anyway, but that's the truth. Am so weird that when I get to be a 9th grader, I stopped every learning courses I joined and it was English course also Maths.
I actually didn't really want to stop but I just didn't have enough time to have such thing while attending the extra classes that you really have to at school.

This is actually a little bit weird cause most of friends, well, almost all of them just started to attend so many learning courses after school, and also on weekends :/

I've once asked them if they get way more tired than they actually thought they would be, and they all of them answered "Hell yeah! Of course!"

I just realized I asked a dumb question.

So I asked them why did they still attend it if they didn't even have enough time to rest when they knew they needed such time to keep healthy and get prevent from being depressed.
Most of them said that it was because their parents wanted them to get the highest score they could get later after the crazy tests.

Hmm. Strict parents. Hard life.

Mine are not really strict, they actually let me to do stuffs I want to do and say if I get into a risk because of it, then I have to face it myself. So it's more like how you survive in life independently. Well sometimes, get too much into my own problems like how I want to lead myself in my life but that's all okay. Though they're even way more experienced than myself.

So back to the learning courses.

I have a friend who actually didn't attend any learning courses since she was in 7th grade and she's smart. She got almost 1 point higher than me on our national exam result. Well, she actually has 5 older siblings (she's the 6th child of 7 in her fam!) who always have enough time to teach her, or just answer some questions she doesn't understand about some lessons in school.

I have another friend who has 3 older siblings (she's the 4th of 5) who seemed... Well, I don't know. According to myself, she looked a bit cocky with the fact that she's great at maths and physics and biology, and other mathematical things. The funny fact, is that she actually learned those stuffs from her older siblings, who's the oldest is a maths teacher and the second and the third are part from smart students in our school. Plus, she also attended soooo many learning courses like maths, science, English, and stuffs and that she almost arrived at home at around 9 pm!

She should be grateful to have such smart and helper siblings but she had never tell me about that ever. Or at least, tell me that she doesn't actually learn those stuffs all by herself.
Well I know I also didn't learn the same thing by myself but at least I don't have any siblings that can help me to learn it further and better than I can. My parents rarely taught me about school subjects since I was a kid, and they just give the alternative for me like internet, books, and 2 learning courses (maths and English).

What I want to share is that there is a difference between my friend who studied mostly by herself and only asked when she didn't understand with the other who actually learned almost all stuffs with her siblings.

Yes. The achievement.
They both got almost the same score at the end.
Doesn't it mean that the one who studied by herself actually way better than the one who studied with so many learning courses?

Well, it seemed that the last one got a little bit higher than the first one but who cares? People know that in the end, when you actually work by yourself, you get it payed off.

Am not bragging myself that I didn't even attend any learning courses and that I learned by myself during the final exams and national exam and still get an average score as 9.25 out of 10.

Most of students here in the big cities attend learning courses.

So it was actually not 'fair' if they see a kid with high score, but then see another one with higher score but actually did join some learning courses before and they choose the higher one.

Now I'm so anxious. Wish me luck so I will attend that school.