Dear, you.
Here's a letter for you.
It's a message that I can't tell you literally because I'm a type of person who can't easily speak up my mind, even to the person that I love this much. Therefore I manage to write it here in hoping you'll read this. I'm such a coward, I know.
You know, I've been thinking lately about this.
Like, I've just found that the words are true.
Yes, I do understand that we committed ourselves to get better each and everyday. I do understand that you're on your way to serve Him in the all new place you've never been into. And i do understand that it was so great that your heart skips a beat every time you think about it and every time you're asked to join and to participate in every occasion they hold. And I'm grateful to know that you're happy in the place where you're put by Him to serve. I really am :)
And yes, I do understand that you're hoping something better will come to me, like it does to you.
I know that you're hoping that I'll get my own progress in growing in Him. And thank you, for you support, thank you for hoping such a nice thing to me. I do appreciate that :)
I don't know if it's just me, or if it's true that you start thinking that I'm not growing right now.
I don't even know if it's just me, or if it's true that you start doubting me to be the person you want to keep growing in Him together with.
But I hope that it was just me, and not you.
I hope it was just my own mind that's making this kind of miserable feelings.
Remember the time we talked about before we committed 'that'?
That you said (as your spiritual senior told you before) we must keep each other growing in Him. That once if one of us start to grow and the other is not, or if the other one is currently 'stuck', the growing one must help and hold the 'stuck' one so that we both are in the same position.
I know that you also said that if the gap between our progress in growing is way too far, we can't force it and we must stop it.
Well, I'm not a person who can easily read how your feelings are going each time but I hope that you're not thinking that I'm the 'stuck' one right now.
Just like the title of this writing, 'everything has its own process'.
And I'm currently on my own process in growing. And just like our talents and the places we're given by Him to serve, our growing process are different.
Maybe yours is a little bit faster than mine, well, who knows?
So will you give me a chance to grow on my process?
Here's a letter for you.
It's a message that I can't tell you literally because I'm a type of person who can't easily speak up my mind, even to the person that I love this much. Therefore I manage to write it here in hoping you'll read this. I'm such a coward, I know.
You know, I've been thinking lately about this.
Like, I've just found that the words are true.
Yes, I do understand that we committed ourselves to get better each and everyday. I do understand that you're on your way to serve Him in the all new place you've never been into. And i do understand that it was so great that your heart skips a beat every time you think about it and every time you're asked to join and to participate in every occasion they hold. And I'm grateful to know that you're happy in the place where you're put by Him to serve. I really am :)
And yes, I do understand that you're hoping something better will come to me, like it does to you.
I know that you're hoping that I'll get my own progress in growing in Him. And thank you, for you support, thank you for hoping such a nice thing to me. I do appreciate that :)
I don't know if it's just me, or if it's true that you start thinking that I'm not growing right now.
I don't even know if it's just me, or if it's true that you start doubting me to be the person you want to keep growing in Him together with.
But I hope that it was just me, and not you.
I hope it was just my own mind that's making this kind of miserable feelings.
Remember the time we talked about before we committed 'that'?
That you said (as your spiritual senior told you before) we must keep each other growing in Him. That once if one of us start to grow and the other is not, or if the other one is currently 'stuck', the growing one must help and hold the 'stuck' one so that we both are in the same position.
I know that you also said that if the gap between our progress in growing is way too far, we can't force it and we must stop it.
Well, I'm not a person who can easily read how your feelings are going each time but I hope that you're not thinking that I'm the 'stuck' one right now.
Just like the title of this writing, 'everything has its own process'.
And I'm currently on my own process in growing. And just like our talents and the places we're given by Him to serve, our growing process are different.
Maybe yours is a little bit faster than mine, well, who knows?
So will you give me a chance to grow on my process?
-Kei-